These 20 Gross Sweets Are the Worst Halloween Candy of All Time

Publish date: 2024-08-16

Ah, Halloween is just so nostalgic. Watching all the little trick-or-treaters scurry around the neighborhood conjures up tons of memories from when we were kids. That feeling you got when you looked in the mirror to see your costume for the first time. The palpable glee in the air as you and every single other student in your entire school took a lap around the playground for the most spirited Halloween parade ever. The nervous excitement you got in the pit of your stomach every time you rang a stranger’s doorbell. The furious counting as you sorted all of the candy stuffed in the pillowcase that was bursting at the seams with sweets.

The lump in your throat and tears that welled up in your eyes when you realized most of your spoils were Tootsie Rolls. Seriously… Tootsie Rolls? What kind of sadist gives kids Tootsie Rolls on Halloween?

Yes, my friends, nothing ruins a child’s Halloween quicker than crappy candy. If you want to make trick-or-treaters cry, hand out one of these worst Halloween candies ever. It’s probably tacky to complain about free candy, but the children of the world deserve better than this.

Originally posted September 2016. Updated September 2017.

Dum Dums
Dum Dums is actually the perfect way to describe people who think kids are excited about these lollipops.
Good & Plenty
Putting the “trick” in trick or treat? These pink and white candies that taste like poison, aka black licorice.
Fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls
Scene: An elderly woman drops her purse; 500 fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls fall out. No one is surprised.
Tootsie Rolls
It chews like hot tar but tastes like shitty chocolate. A real Halloween dream come true.
Candy corn
It’s 2016 — parents don’t let their kids eat unwrapped candy. Stop shoveling in the candy corn, already!
Black and orange taffy
The sketchiest. What brand is it? Who makes it? Where the hell do people buy it? And what is that flavor?
Hershey’s Miniatures
Mr. Goodbar and Krackel are, like, the two most depressing candy bars out there. Try harder, Hershey’s!
Dove mini chocolates
As an adult, I enjoy Dove chocolates. As a kid, I wanted to know why my weird aunt’s candy was in my bag.
Dubble Bubble and Bazooka gum
It practically breaks your teeth when you start chewing, loses flavor after one minute and barely blows bubbles.
Jolly Ranchers
You know some entitled kid picked all the watermelon Jolly Ranchers from the bowl, and the rest taste like sadness.
Mini packs of raisins
I would rather get 300 pieces of shitty black and orange taffy than one mini box of stale, grainy raisins.
Necco Wafers
There is one black licorice wafer per roll, and that alone makes getting Necco Wafers a slap in the face.
Wax lips and fangs
Chewing on a sugary candle you’re not allowed to swallow? Now that’s terrifying.
Smarties
As a kid, I always wanted to eat chalk. Then I tried Smarties one Halloween and changed my mind forever.
Strawberry candies with liquid centers
1882 called; it wants its depressingly hard-yet-gooey candy back.
Trail mix
I don’t care that it’s full of off-brand M&M’S and salt — trail mix is still for the trail, not Halloween.
Black licorice
If you genuinely think kids like getting black licorice on Halloween, you’re either European or 85 years old.
3 Musketeers
3 Musketeers was invented in 1902 by mixing cocoa powder with crafting paste. That’s not true. But it does suck.
Werther’s
I personally love Werther’s, because my papa always has them in his car. Stop giving kids car candy on Halloween!
A mini toothbrush
Candy is bad for your teeth — we get it. That’s why kids get free candy only one night a year! Lighten up.